so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
