Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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