I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
