Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
