MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
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