So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
