Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Randomize
