whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Randomize
