I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize