ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
I booty called her while she was in labor.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
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