I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Randomize
