I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
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