Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
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