we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
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Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
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