He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Randomize
