i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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