is your mom at the bar?
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
