I wannas sexs uuuuu
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
You ate ashes out of my bong
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
