dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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