Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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