3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
You're my little dorito
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
