I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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