i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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