ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
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