You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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