drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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