maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize