How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
