is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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