He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
