dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize