the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Randomize
