No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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