sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize