Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize