That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Randomize