As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
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