maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
last night I used snow as a chaser
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
