doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
