just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize