we should wear snuggies to the strip club
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
