morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
