This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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