Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
