hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
