Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
