I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
