kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
