I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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