the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
we should paint friendship bongs
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
