It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
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