So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
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