omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
