Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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