What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
it's great music for shaving your balls
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
