You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Randomize
