so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
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