He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...