I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
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Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
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Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.