Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy