WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
theres a video...
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....