this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
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Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
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He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.