I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
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And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
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just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.