my mouth tastes like poor choices
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
