i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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