You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
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