Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
Randomize
